Wednesday, April 8, 2015

The Protagonist of Your Life

The Protagonist of Your Life

Imagine standing on one side of a room.  On the other side is a table with a glass of water.  Inside that water is the answer to happiness.  All you have to do is walk across the room and drink the water.  It would be nice, wouldn’t it?  Now imagine that between you and the water is, say a fiery dragon guarding the water, enemies throwing torches at you.  This time, if you get to actually drink the water, you are not just happy, but a hero.

These obstacles are the elements of drama.  These are the elements of life.  We like to believe that we can just walk across the room and get the water.  That getting what we want should be pretty straightforward.  When it’s not, we often get overwhelmed, confused, stuck, paralyzed.  We blame ourselves, as we lose sight of the glass of water.   But if you get past the dragon, or slay the dragon, or tame the dragon, you have a deeper, more lasting sense of happiness and pride.  You are the hero.  It is amazing how many people don’t even know what their glass of water is anymore.  What will make them happy.  It’s amazing how many people know what their dragon is, harp on it, stare at it, tremble at it, but never find a way to get by it.

But, when we watch a play or a film or read a book, we, more often than not, know better than the main character.  We know what they want or need.  We see what’s standing in the way, and we even know, much of the time, what they need to do to overcome their obstacles, “Why doesn’t he just tell her?”  Why isn’t she honest with herself?” “Why doesn’t she just do what she really wants to do!”  We become experts at the dissection of the human psyche.   So why not strive for this clarity in our own lives?  We don’t need to go to a movie or read a novel to get it right.  This is our life, not a dress rehearsal.  We can use the same elements of enjoying a good story, to unravel our intentions and gain insight and perspective.  We can come to view our lives as stories that we can create.  We can become conscious, quite quickly, of our desires, what makes us happy, what is standing in our way, and how to address these obstacles.

There are elements of our lives, certain situations, our temperaments, people in our life,  that we can’t change.  Sometimes, it is the very glass of water that changes.  After going through a transition in our lives, we often cling to what we think will make us happy, what we were striving for when our lives were different.  With changing circumstances come changing intentions and goals.  But the story we choose to write, within these parameters, becomes our very own unique creation.  It can be tempered with beauty.  It can be full of heroism and pride.  Despite what comes our way, we can make peace with our obstacles, tame our dragons, and sip from our own personal glass of happiness.

Nadine Bernard is a Board Certified Life Coach and playwright who specializes in working with women who are grappling with issues regarding their careers, relationships, motherhood, self-expression and self-esteem.  She uses techniques based in coaching, acting, and psychology as she partners with women to find clarity, fulfillment and balance as they become the heroes of their own lives.