Personal Plays Life Coaching: Become the hero of your own life story
www.personalplays.com
Friday, December 19, 2014
Personal Plays Life Coaching
Please check out my new life coaching website;
Personal Plays Life Coaching: Become the hero of your own life story
www.personalplays.com
Personal Plays Life Coaching: Become the hero of your own life story
www.personalplays.com
Friday, June 20, 2014
The greater the life's challenge, the more the heroine is called upon to manifest.
In honor of heroic mothers of challenging kids. . .
The
Moms Who Are Our Heroes
Raising
challenging children isn't for the faint-of-heart
Editorial Director
Child Mind Institute
Child Mind Institute
We hear a lot about hero moms, from
political candidates telling their life stories on the stump to Academy Award
winners pouring out tearful thanks. These stories are usually about mothers who
raised successful children in extreme situations—their husbands had died, they
worked in low-paying jobs (or several low-paying jobs), they lived in dangerous
neighborhoods. Yet they managed to create loving, structured homes where their
kids learned the values and discipline it takes to excel.
We'd like to salute some less-heralded moms who are just as devoted, tireless, and, when necessary, steely: mothers of children with psychiatric and learning disorders. Professionals who work with children note that most kids can thrive with parenting that's just okay; for kids with challenging disorders, it takes super-parenting to help them flourish. Not that we don't think dads are important, but in most of these families it's the mother who does the heavy lifting. And many of them do it with heroic focus, persistence, and selflessness.
For starters, moms are, more often than not, the first to detect that something unusual is going on with a child. Whether a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, they tend to be the most tuned into a child's development and the nuances of his behavior, and to sense when something isn't right. They're the ones most likely to question the pediatrician or the teacher, and to be unconvinced when grandparents and friends dismiss problems with "it's just a stage," or "he'll grow out of it."
When it comes to diagnosis, moms are often the ones who won't take the first answer they get, if it doesn't really fit what they know, or isn't working for the child. They're the ones who do exhaustive research, searching for an explanation for a child's complex symptoms and not giving up even when other people who care for the child—teachers, or doctors, or even spouses—don't share their sense of urgency.
While mothers of typical children may have to push them to excel in school, these moms have to push institutions—insurance companies, the medical establishment, school districts—to provide their kids with the help they need. Getting a child with a psychiatric or learning disorder into a good school can be tougher than getting a kid into Harvard. These moms hire lawyers and navigate harrowing bureaucracies. They become advocates for their kids and networkers with other moms. They write blogs and launch organizations. In the process, they are sometimes transformed. A very forceful and articulate mom we know told us the other day that until she found herself struggling to raise a child with Asperger's she was actually quite shy. We found it hard to imagine.
And then there's the time-consuming, taxing, frustrating, day-to-day effort so many of these moms expend to get challenging children into their clothes in the morning and onto the school bus, to get them to eat, to manage tantrums and other disruptive behavior, to get them to doctor's visits and therapy appointments, and to find play dates that won't be a disaster for them. It takes not only tirelessness but toughness. A mom who recently went through Parent-Child Interaction Therapy to learn to manage a 6-year-old with disruptive behavior told me that before the training she had a hard time setting clear limits. She worked, and, like so many of us, when she was home she wanted her time with her son to be fun. She was reluctant to set clear expectations for him, and follow through consistently if he didn't comply. Not any more, and her son is doing wonderfully.
We'd like to salute some less-heralded moms who are just as devoted, tireless, and, when necessary, steely: mothers of children with psychiatric and learning disorders. Professionals who work with children note that most kids can thrive with parenting that's just okay; for kids with challenging disorders, it takes super-parenting to help them flourish. Not that we don't think dads are important, but in most of these families it's the mother who does the heavy lifting. And many of them do it with heroic focus, persistence, and selflessness.
For starters, moms are, more often than not, the first to detect that something unusual is going on with a child. Whether a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, they tend to be the most tuned into a child's development and the nuances of his behavior, and to sense when something isn't right. They're the ones most likely to question the pediatrician or the teacher, and to be unconvinced when grandparents and friends dismiss problems with "it's just a stage," or "he'll grow out of it."
When it comes to diagnosis, moms are often the ones who won't take the first answer they get, if it doesn't really fit what they know, or isn't working for the child. They're the ones who do exhaustive research, searching for an explanation for a child's complex symptoms and not giving up even when other people who care for the child—teachers, or doctors, or even spouses—don't share their sense of urgency.
While mothers of typical children may have to push them to excel in school, these moms have to push institutions—insurance companies, the medical establishment, school districts—to provide their kids with the help they need. Getting a child with a psychiatric or learning disorder into a good school can be tougher than getting a kid into Harvard. These moms hire lawyers and navigate harrowing bureaucracies. They become advocates for their kids and networkers with other moms. They write blogs and launch organizations. In the process, they are sometimes transformed. A very forceful and articulate mom we know told us the other day that until she found herself struggling to raise a child with Asperger's she was actually quite shy. We found it hard to imagine.
And then there's the time-consuming, taxing, frustrating, day-to-day effort so many of these moms expend to get challenging children into their clothes in the morning and onto the school bus, to get them to eat, to manage tantrums and other disruptive behavior, to get them to doctor's visits and therapy appointments, and to find play dates that won't be a disaster for them. It takes not only tirelessness but toughness. A mom who recently went through Parent-Child Interaction Therapy to learn to manage a 6-year-old with disruptive behavior told me that before the training she had a hard time setting clear limits. She worked, and, like so many of us, when she was home she wanted her time with her son to be fun. She was reluctant to set clear expectations for him, and follow through consistently if he didn't comply. Not any more, and her son is doing wonderfully.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Heroines in literature
I found this article here
22 Strong Female Characters In Literature We All Wanted To Be
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” ―Nora Ephron
1. Lizzie Bennett, Pride & Prejudice
BBC Films
Penguin Books
I feel like there is no one who
understands me like Lizzie Bennett. She is strong, smart, and knows what
she wants. More importantly her existence made me, as a young girl,
feel like maybe I could grow up to be the same. I also love the fact
that despite Lizzie living in a world that just wasn’t fair to women
(they had to marry, they couldn’t inherit, and were often regarded as
silly) she never let that stop her from speaking her mind. —Ashley Perez
2. Nancy Drew, Nancy Drew Mystery Stories
Nancy Drew Mystery Stories
Carolyn Keene/ Simon & Schuster
My mom got me into reading the book
series. She was smart, clever, and fiercely devoted to solving crimes.
(LOL but also TRUE.) Plus, she was always getting into danger, or
getting kidnapped, and even when she got over those ordeals, she’d go
back for more detective work. NANCYDREW4LYFE. —Erin La Rosa
3. Sabriel, Sabriel
Sabriel because she was a badass who fought monsters and went on adventures. —Ariane Lange
4. Matilda, Matilda
TriStar Pictures
Quentin Blake/ Scholastic
I always loved the idea of her
overcoming adversity by reading books. But more importantly, she taught
herself telekinesis and messed with people in hilariously clever ways
(but only if they deserved it, because the girl had a surprisingly
flawless moral compass). —Julia Pugachevsky
5. Melba Beals, Warriors Don’t Cry
Getty Images
I’m not sure if this counts because it’s non-fiction, but in sixth grade my English teacher suggested I read Warriors Don’t Cry.
It’s the memoir of Melba Patillo Beals, who was one of the Little Rock
Nine. This book details what it was actually like as one of the first
black kids to integrate the Arkansas school system. Melba describes
having acid thrown in her face, losing friends who were scared to
associate with her, and the terror of having to be escorted to school
every day by guards who may or may not have wanted her to be there
either. The title alone struck me, and I remember feeling so empowered
and grateful for her sacrifice after reading this. —Driadonna Roland
6. Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables
I identified with Anne so much. She was
imaginative, ambitious, competitive, smart, loved reading and writing,
and totally rocked the red hair and freckles (even if she accidentally
turned her hair green that one time). She was slightly ridiculous but
her flaws just made me love her more. Best of all, she made the best of
bad situations and was never afraid to speak her mind or stand up for
herself. She also taught me the fabulousness of puffed sleeves. —Jenna
Guillaume
7. Jo March, Little Women
Columbia Pictures
Jo from Little Women is smart,
impulsive, argumentative, and willing to do anything for her family,
even cut all of her hair off to raise some cash. And obvs, she’s a
writer so that’s awesome. Casting Winona Ryder in the part was just the
icing on the cake. —Deena Shanker
8. Elphaba, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
I’ve always felt a connection to Elphaba. I
love that she’s strong, opinionated, and stands up for what she thinks
is right. When I read the book, I loved the idea that even though
someone totally different and unique could not only succeed, but would
be willing to turn her back on success for something she believed in.
She was always different and would always be different, but her
confidence and strength were something I have always admired. —Hannah
Gregg
9. Lisbeth Salander, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Music Box Films
Lisbeth has one of the fiercest moral
codes I’ve ever seen in books or film. She lives by her own rules and
sticks to what she believes in. She’s flawed but uses it to push herself
to be who she wants to be. Not who others want her to be. She
understands herself in a way very few do. She isn’t afraid to take
charge and is the definition of “BOSS not bossy.” —Mackenzie Kruvant
10. Hellen Keller, The Story of My Life
I read My Story in second or third
grade and I become obsessed with her. I was equal parts fascinated with
her determination as a girl to learn to communicate, but also her social
role as an adult — like, one of the first women pundits?? —Jina Moore
11. Sara Crewe, A Little Princess
Warner Brothers Family Entertainment
I loved Sara from A Little Princess.
She loves storytelling, and everyone loves her for her stories, and she
uses her imagination to survive when misfortune befalls her. She’s also
brave, classy, kind, and generous no matter what. —Michelle Broder Van
Dyke
12. Kristy Thomas, The Babysitters Club Series
Columbia Pictures
Scholastic
I’d specifically mention Kristy from The Baby-Sitters Club.
She was smart and she was a leader. I think I admired her too because
of how she dealt with her dysfunctional family. —Sandra Allen
13. Laura Ingalls, Little House on the Prairie
CBS
For a girl in the 19th century, she
was a huge badass. Wolves and bears outside her door, riding horses
bareback, never wearing shoes or a sunbonnet, and especially luring
Nellie Oleson into the creek to get eaten by crabs and leeches… Plus as a
kid it was a huge thing to me that she grew up to be a famous writer!
—Molly Hensley-Clancy
14. Princess Cimorene, Dealing with Dragons Series
Scholastic
Scholastic
My first (and probably still my favorite) fictional lady hero was Princess Cimorene from Dealing with Dragons,
which, for those of you who never had the privilege of reading it, is
the first in a magical and funny and rad four-book fantasy series by
Patricia C. Wrede. Cimorene is a total BAMF who a) runs away from her
parents when they try to make her marry a dopey prince, b) gets a job
and moves into a cave with a delightfully sassy talking dragon, c)
refuses to be rescued, d) makes friends with a cool witch, and e) ends
up saving the day, which I won’t go into because you should find out the
details for yourself. Basically, Cimorene is hella smart and hot and
capable and what’s great is that she KNOWS it; she’s not some fainting
ingenue who has to be convinced of her own virtue. She’s ready to take
charge from page one. —Rachel Sanders
15. Karen Blixen, Out of Africa
Universal Studios
Modern Library
She is not really fictional but Karen Blixen from Out of Africa,
the book and the movie. Although the movie has many flaws, I just love
Karen’s personality. She is a badass who doesn’t take any shit from
anyone. She is extremely independent and sexually confident, especially
for her time. And I just love the scene where she arrives to her
husband’s military camp, all disheveled after several days in the
desert, and completely ignores all the scandalized looks from the men
around her. —Marie Telling
16. Meg Murry, A Wrinkle in Time
Dimension Television
Yes, my 11-year-old self initially
loved her because we shared a name, but she was so damn relatable for a
similarly awkward preteen. She was stubborn and self-conscious, but so
determined, smart, and caring. Plus, she got to do all sorts of time
traveling and becomes a badass mathematician. —Megan Paolone
17. Madeline, Madeline
Disney Channel
Before I learned to read, I memorized
a number of Madeline books and insisted on reciting them nightly. All
the other girls (my 3-year-old self included) want to be just like
Madeline, and for all the right reasons: She’s brave, outgoing, funny,
and an excellent problem solver. In so many books and TV shows I
consumed later, the “it” girl assumed her position because she was
manipulative, or a flirt, or a suck-up, but everyone looked up to
Madeline because she was actually cool. —Hillary Reinsberg
18. Lucy Pevensie, The Chronicles of Narnia Series
I was obsessed with Narnia when I was small
so Lucy Pevensie was an early and inspirational example of a woman (well
a girl) bravely going where men feared to tread. Her brother Edmund
refused to believe she she had discovered a magical land via a wardrobe,
and looked rather silly when she was later crowned Queen of Narnia.
I’ve been a bold traveller ever since. —Simon Crerar
19. Ramona Quimby, Ramona Quimby Series
Scholastic
Scholastic
Overall as a female character, she
wasn’t focused on being pretty and she wasn’t afraid to play with the
boys and get messy. There is a kind of physical joy in how she’s
portrayed, inhabiting her own body and embracing that messiness rather
than staying neatly within the lines. She just can’t help herself when
something looks like fun and I love that! She’s always portrayed in
contrast to her sister Beezus who’s proper and usually cares what other
people think — and some of the other girls in Ramona’s class are also
more proper. Even when I was little, I felt/made those comparisons with
my peers too since I was a tomboy. Basically, these books are saying
there are different ways you can be a girl and you don’t have to be a
perfect little doll to be loved. —Susie Armitage
20. Hemione Granger, Harry Potter Series
Warner Brothers
Scholastic
I loved Hermione Granger from the
moment she introduced herself on the Hogwarts Express. Here was a girl
my same age who wasn’t afraid to openly declare her love for studying
and reading, a badass who found a group of true friends who accepted her
as she was. Hermione helped me embrace my inner nerd, and I never again
felt too embarrassed to put my hand up in class to answer a question.
I’m now 25 and I still consider her to be one of my role models. —Ellie
Hall
21. Egwene al’Vere, The Wheel of Time Series
She’s this random girl from a
backwater town who’s thrust into an exciting world. Her entire life had
been planned out — what her job would be, who she’d marry, etc. But then
this huge wide world opens up to her and all of a sudden there are so
many possibilities! She realizes that she can be her own (amazing,
stunning) person, that she can have her own life that’s not dictated by
anyone else, and that she can choose her own direction. When I first
stared reading the WoT series in 1990 I was 9 years old, and the series just ended in 2012. Her character development was stunning. —Cates Holderness
22. Charlotte, Charlotte’s Web
Paramount Pictures
She teaches that strength,
compassion, bravery, love, and courage are the basis of true strength. I
don’t recall thinking much of them being women as a kid, but as I got
older, I did notice that there were few strong lead female characters in
a lot of literature. —John Stanton
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
June 10, 2014
Thank you to my wonderful clients! It is an honor accompanying you on your journeys.
Testimonials:
Thank you to my wonderful clients! It is an honor accompanying you on your journeys.
Testimonials:
I had some coaching sessions
with Nadine and she was wonderful. Nadine helped me put together a lot of
pieces in my life and see them as interconnected.
-- Arianna Bullard,
Bloomfield, NJ
I too was
going to give a little Nadine shout out! I just planted some of her coaching
flyers at Montclair Baby. I just finished 8 weekly sessions with her and they
were invaluable. Nadine helped me navigate both the crowded contents of my head
and my life’s latest challenges so I could successfully arrive at a truly
focused vision for my immediate future. Together, we uncovered the strengths and
abilities I had lying dormant within myself (as opposed to telling me what she
thought I needed to do) and activated my truest passions and turned them into a
clear direction for me to take my career in—while also putting them in context
with my new role as a parent. Lots of gratitude for
Nadine!
-- Jade Newkirk, Montclair,
NJ
I have found that working with Nadine feels like
sharing coffee with a wise friend – comfortable, open, and honest. Nadine is
someone in whom you can easily confide even the most perplexing or daunting of
situations, and she will hold you accountable for doing the challenging work of
exploring aspects of your personality that contribute to your successes and
failures. Nadine
helped me to reshape some of my major, negative trains of thought that were
limiting my potential for success and happiness. She has given me the tools I
need to move forward in a more confident, self-assured manner in every aspect of
my life. I
am now gainfully and happily employed in a new job that is meaningful to me, and
I am living in a new city that brings me endless joy. Kudos to Nadine and her
life-coaching talents! She is exceptionally gifted, and the recent outcomes in
my life are proof positive of her coaching
skills.
-- Sarah M., Washington DC
I always feel good after talking with Nadine. It feels
good to have a clear plan and someone not only rooting for me, but counting on
me to do it. Even when I don't accomplish my weekly goals, it makes me pause and
think about why and that's been invaluable in restructuring my time and giving
myself a break. Nadine has also helped me to slow down and appreciate joyful
moments in my life.
-- Apryl Lee, Little Falls, NJ
Thursday, May 22, 2014
When training in life coaching, I took a program called Purpose/Clarity through which I became a Certified Purpose Clarity Coach. This means that I am able to support people in becoming clear on their purpose in life -- what they want to offer to the world. This is a wonderful program for women in transition, who are looking for the next step in their life. I have used it with much success with new mothers, who are trying to carve out some space and identity for themselves after becoming a mother. But it can also be used with women who stayed home but now their kids are going off to school, empty-nesters, college grads who aren't sure about next steps, etc.
While going through the program, I was asked to define my own life purpose. What a daunting and challenging task. But after a few walks in the park and some meditating, an Umbrella (or Purpose) statement began to manifest itself. An overarching statement which describes everything I do in my theater work and in my life coaching and support of other people:
I illuminate people's lives so they can see themselves more clearly and see the possibilities for creating a more harmonious world.
And with that, I will now step out into the harmony of the lush spring, with an orchestra of birds, each with a complementary tune, reminding of us how we can live in this world with our differences and as a unified and peaceful whole.
While going through the program, I was asked to define my own life purpose. What a daunting and challenging task. But after a few walks in the park and some meditating, an Umbrella (or Purpose) statement began to manifest itself. An overarching statement which describes everything I do in my theater work and in my life coaching and support of other people:
I illuminate people's lives so they can see themselves more clearly and see the possibilities for creating a more harmonious world.
And with that, I will now step out into the harmony of the lush spring, with an orchestra of birds, each with a complementary tune, reminding of us how we can live in this world with our differences and as a unified and peaceful whole.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)